my new job

So, I go back to my new job over the weekend. And ... I pretty much think I'm going to quit working and just do the weekend gig, doing massage. It's weird, but ... damn, I hate my job. I think I will hate doing massage after a while, but ... maybe not. Maybe I will just have more time to write. And the good thing about the spa is ... I'm not really sure what the good thing is.

I was writing in my journal, the one I have to write in when I go to the bookstore, since they don't have Wifi, but ... I was writing in it, and I was writing about yesterday, how I had a kind of epiphany at the spa. I was sitting there, and ... I just thought about why I stay at one point in my life. I think it was my brain age game that said that my prefrontal cortex or whatever it is called isn't activated when you have habits, like biting your nails or such. Which would be be ripping out my eyebrows.

But it was so strange, because my mind seemed to be totally activated when I was at the spa, and I just thought about all those silly thoughts that go around and around in ones head.

What I will have to do is work all day shifts, when I work. If I pulled all day-ers on Saturday and Sunday, I could make ... well, enough to get by. I could potentially do ... well, earn half of the money I would need to survive.

When I break it down, working at the spa just isn't enough money to survive. And the strange thing is, working there on the side takes my time away from writing. So ... where does that leave me? It leaves me wandering around in a loop. A loop that sucks. But, I am glad that I have options, so I can walk away from my job if I need to do so.

If I worked all day saturday and all day sunday, I could then work two full days during the week, and I would have enough money to survive. Actually, I could work all day saturday and all day sunday, and then work three days during the week, and I would have enough money to survive.

That sucks. My book is my only real hope to survive.