gotta move on

It's Tuesday morning, and I'm sort of excited about having a day off tomorrow. I feel this sort of horrible, desperate ... exhaustion. I don't want to work anymore, I just want to write and work on my novel. But the realities of life are that I need to earn money.

I feeel a sense of relief, when I center. When I forget about all my fears, and just relax.

My sister told me I was depressed, and it's true. I've realized something, and it's that I'm stuck in my life. It doesn't really move forward. I had these dreams, about Kevin Whxxeeler, who was one of my childhood friends. And I sort of look back, And I see that my inability to move forward, or not inability, but the simple fact that I don't ... it relates to my childhood. When I was younger, I would wait to get older, so that my life would change.

I just ordered my sister a gift off the internet, it is SOOOO much more convenient than old technology, of suffering and having to go to the store.

Anyhoo, I got a lot done yesterday, and I think I am going to go to the store tonight and ... the bookstore, and hang out. Maybe eat a gross sandwich there, or go get some sushi. For some reason, I am spending money madly this week.