So, it's Tuesday, way early in the morning. And I have a couple days off work.
I'm interested to see if I get anything done on the book, or anything done in general. I would like to completely clean my apartment, we'll see if that happens. I need to go to Costco and buy a bunch of crap in bulk, like paper towels.
I'm thinking of buying a new iMac, but I hate to drop a fortune on that machine, especially when it's mostly so I can play World of Warcraft on it. I might try to stretch some life out of the computer I have. We'll see.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
new imacs
I'm at the coffeehouse, and I'm not liking the vibe. There are too many people here. The laundry area is totally packed with people trying to wash their clothes. I think I'm going to just wash my clothes and run home.
My stupid computer is acting wonky. Safari decided to die on me and refuses to work again. Thank God Safari is functioning. I'm thinking of buying a new Imac, but ... damn. There goes my savings account. And then I get to go back to work and slave away, so I can barely get by.
I was looking at this girl at work who is absolutely gorgeous, but she's a bimbo. Sure enough, they promoted her anyway, and now she's driving around in a Range Rover. It would be so much easier if I could just make some more frickin' money.
But at least I'm glad that I have some money tucked away in my savings, so that I don't have to ... rely on credit cards.
My stupid computer is acting wonky. Safari decided to die on me and refuses to work again. Thank God Safari is functioning. I'm thinking of buying a new Imac, but ... damn. There goes my savings account. And then I get to go back to work and slave away, so I can barely get by.
I was looking at this girl at work who is absolutely gorgeous, but she's a bimbo. Sure enough, they promoted her anyway, and now she's driving around in a Range Rover. It would be so much easier if I could just make some more frickin' money.
But at least I'm glad that I have some money tucked away in my savings, so that I don't have to ... rely on credit cards.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
big update
It's Sunday, I'm doing wash. Ordered some new shoes off the net, which is fun.
I have to go to visit the family for Mother's Day, which is fine. But a part of me wishes I could just sit at home and write.
Also, I bought the new Stephenie Meyer book, "The Host."
Something here in the coffeehouse smells so disgusting, I can't stand it. They might be cooking with onion, but it smells so disgusting.
I have to go to visit the family for Mother's Day, which is fine. But a part of me wishes I could just sit at home and write.
Also, I bought the new Stephenie Meyer book, "The Host."
Something here in the coffeehouse smells so disgusting, I can't stand it. They might be cooking with onion, but it smells so disgusting.
Monday, May 5, 2008
too many distractions
It's funny, because ... I went to work today, and I was almost thrilled to be there, even though I groused and complained. Yet, I come home tonight, and I have nothing to do. There are no internet sites I want to look at, no snotty comments I wish to trade on gawker.com. It all seems like distractions to me.
At work today, a woman made me very angry, not because of the things she did to me, though there are many in the past. She behaved inappropriately to my co-worker. She threatened to have him fired, which was ... it's the kind of thing that makes me very angry. But ... again, it feels like a distraction. Distracting me from what, the things i don't want to face in my life?
I've never wanted to conquer the world. It doesn't really interest me. But ... maybe the things I do want ... maybe I have show a kind of apathy toward going after my ... desires.
Maybe it's easier to sit in your room alone and be distracted than it is to write a novel. Maybe it's easier to chatter on gawker.com.
I think the Celestine Prophecy was right, that we are all trying to draw energy from the world. Even when I squawk away on gawker, I see myself, I don't know, trying to get attention, maybe? And it's funny, because I don't, really. No one really pays any attention to what I say. Maybe a little. But it's pointless.
One of their posts talked about how we were all wasting our time making comments, when we should be working on our own blogs. And really, there are a thousand blogs on the net. Why cares. We're all regurgitating the same youtube clips. Everyone is trying to get attention, a book deal, something. But I would simply prefer to express myself. I just want to say something that is real and true and unaffected. I guess I only need money to feel safe, but ... will that ever happen? I picture myself making millions of dollars and being an old man, with no one around me. Or having a staff of nurses who torment me, trying to kill me off to get my money. It's funny, because this world is so overwhelming. You wonder if there is any goodness in it. Any happiness in the way people are so cruel to one another.
At work today, a woman made me very angry, not because of the things she did to me, though there are many in the past. She behaved inappropriately to my co-worker. She threatened to have him fired, which was ... it's the kind of thing that makes me very angry. But ... again, it feels like a distraction. Distracting me from what, the things i don't want to face in my life?
I've never wanted to conquer the world. It doesn't really interest me. But ... maybe the things I do want ... maybe I have show a kind of apathy toward going after my ... desires.
Maybe it's easier to sit in your room alone and be distracted than it is to write a novel. Maybe it's easier to chatter on gawker.com.
I think the Celestine Prophecy was right, that we are all trying to draw energy from the world. Even when I squawk away on gawker, I see myself, I don't know, trying to get attention, maybe? And it's funny, because I don't, really. No one really pays any attention to what I say. Maybe a little. But it's pointless.
One of their posts talked about how we were all wasting our time making comments, when we should be working on our own blogs. And really, there are a thousand blogs on the net. Why cares. We're all regurgitating the same youtube clips. Everyone is trying to get attention, a book deal, something. But I would simply prefer to express myself. I just want to say something that is real and true and unaffected. I guess I only need money to feel safe, but ... will that ever happen? I picture myself making millions of dollars and being an old man, with no one around me. Or having a staff of nurses who torment me, trying to kill me off to get my money. It's funny, because this world is so overwhelming. You wonder if there is any goodness in it. Any happiness in the way people are so cruel to one another.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
gawker
It's Sunday, and once again, I've done nothing all weekend long. What a surprise. Well, I've worked a bit on my book. Which is a good thing. But considering how low my productivity is, I should have started working again. At least I would have money to blow on material goods I don't need.
I'm at the cybercafe, which now has a TV mounted to the wall, doing advertising. There are two girls here talking loudly, which would normally annoy me, but they seem to be having fun. It always amazes me how people can talk extremely loud in a coffeehouse, when people around them are trying to work. And, of course, they are talking about extremely personal things, like the size of the schlongsof the boys they date.
I spent a lot of the weekend looking at gawker.com, which was ... silly. I keep making comments, but it's interesting, because no one really seems to give a shit about what you say. It's like people spewing dialogue at each other. And the conversational threads, it's strange, like they are speaking in a language all their own, like they know each other.
There is one person named koreanish who is very amusing, I think he is a novelist who wrote a book called "Edinburgh." I actually want to read it now, but then there is another one called "Queen of the Night" that is coming out, which seems better. Well, not better, but also interesting, like something I want to read.
I'm at the cybercafe, which now has a TV mounted to the wall, doing advertising. There are two girls here talking loudly, which would normally annoy me, but they seem to be having fun. It always amazes me how people can talk extremely loud in a coffeehouse, when people around them are trying to work. And, of course, they are talking about extremely personal things, like the size of the schlongsof the boys they date.
I spent a lot of the weekend looking at gawker.com, which was ... silly. I keep making comments, but it's interesting, because no one really seems to give a shit about what you say. It's like people spewing dialogue at each other. And the conversational threads, it's strange, like they are speaking in a language all their own, like they know each other.
There is one person named koreanish who is very amusing, I think he is a novelist who wrote a book called "Edinburgh." I actually want to read it now, but then there is another one called "Queen of the Night" that is coming out, which seems better. Well, not better, but also interesting, like something I want to read.
blonde cylon
It's Sunday, and I'm washing my clothes again. I sort of decided yesterday that I wasn't going to work on the weekend anymore. Than I had a stupid dream, where I was working at the spa. and now I'm thinking I will go back. The dream was really positive, so it feels like sort of a sign.
I mean, I don't get all that much writing done. I had all yesterday, and I did very little. But then again, at least I am being thorough and going over it again and again.
I was ripping out my eyebrows yesterday. It is like the worst habit in the world. I am going to have to try to stop myself, before I succumb to high blood pressure. I also had a caramel latte last night, and drank the whole bloody thing at my computer. That was really stupid. It made me so jittery. I thought I was going to have a heart attack last night, as I went to sleep.
Instead of writing, I watched Battlestar Gallactica on Hulu, and then argued with this writer on Gawker.com. He's in love with stupid Starbuck, who's okay, but I really like number Six. I think she is so great. I like her because of the one episode, where she went back to occupied Caprica and started talking to a ghost of Baltar. It was so fascinating. I think she is so much more interesting than Baltar, but they want her to be the hot blonde.
They need to give her a new wig, though. It's starting to look ratty.
I mean, I don't get all that much writing done. I had all yesterday, and I did very little. But then again, at least I am being thorough and going over it again and again.
I was ripping out my eyebrows yesterday. It is like the worst habit in the world. I am going to have to try to stop myself, before I succumb to high blood pressure. I also had a caramel latte last night, and drank the whole bloody thing at my computer. That was really stupid. It made me so jittery. I thought I was going to have a heart attack last night, as I went to sleep.
Instead of writing, I watched Battlestar Gallactica on Hulu, and then argued with this writer on Gawker.com. He's in love with stupid Starbuck, who's okay, but I really like number Six. I think she is so great. I like her because of the one episode, where she went back to occupied Caprica and started talking to a ghost of Baltar. It was so fascinating. I think she is so much more interesting than Baltar, but they want her to be the hot blonde.
They need to give her a new wig, though. It's starting to look ratty.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
come saturday morning
It's Saturday morning, I'm sitting here staring at my computer doing nothing. How pathetic. I'm definitely going to see Iron Man this morning.
I did wake up early and walk to the bank to deposit a check. And went and got Starbucks. I think ... it's just hard, to live life in some ways. It's really frustrating, to have hopes and dreams. But ... I think I'm more interested in living in the moment.
I was going to relabel this blog something about "rants against the establishment." And it's interesting to me. Because, I see all these people at work, and I realize that I don't want to do their jobs or be like them in any way. They are all scrambling for power, and yet, together we are all living on a planet that is dying. It's like, you have all these independent little cells scrambling for power indificually, but because they won't work together, they will all die. So why should I want to be life them?
I guess, it's hard for me to do something, unless it has meaning. And it only has meaning to me, if I am helping people.
I did wake up early and walk to the bank to deposit a check. And went and got Starbucks. I think ... it's just hard, to live life in some ways. It's really frustrating, to have hopes and dreams. But ... I think I'm more interested in living in the moment.
I was going to relabel this blog something about "rants against the establishment." And it's interesting to me. Because, I see all these people at work, and I realize that I don't want to do their jobs or be like them in any way. They are all scrambling for power, and yet, together we are all living on a planet that is dying. It's like, you have all these independent little cells scrambling for power indificually, but because they won't work together, they will all die. So why should I want to be life them?
I guess, it's hard for me to do something, unless it has meaning. And it only has meaning to me, if I am helping people.
Friday, May 2, 2008
here comes the weekend
Well, universe, I did nothing terribly interesting tonight. Work was brutal. It was so interesting, because I was walking around this morning, and I got such a bad feeling. It was like ... I kept seeing things that felt like bad omens to me. And I knew the day was going to be fucked. And sure enough, it was. There was so much work to do at work. It wasn't totally horrible, though. I'm grateful for that.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back to working on the weekend. I shouldn't, but I really want to make some extra money and not have to scrimp and save all the time. I need to work on my writing, but instead, I just keep falling asleep and getting nothing done. But that's okay.
I'm thinking of going to see Iron Man tomorrow. That will be fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back to working on the weekend. I shouldn't, but I really want to make some extra money and not have to scrimp and save all the time. I need to work on my writing, but instead, I just keep falling asleep and getting nothing done. But that's okay.
I'm thinking of going to see Iron Man tomorrow. That will be fun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
