another day, another dream

I'm at the coffeehouse right now. I was going to go to the Santa Monica Promenade, to get some massage oil, because I thought I would be going back to work. But now ... I'm not so sure.

I checked out this new apartment. It was huge, a one bedroom, at a pretty good price. And ... I couldn't stand it. The building was so out in the open, next to a shopping center, and I felt like I wouldn't feel safe there. It's frustrating in a way, because the place was at a pretty good price, but there was no washing facilities, no security to the building. It was just gross. And you lived right behind an office building, which is a horrible view.

I thought I would need to go back to work on the week-ends, to help pay for the move, but I really don't want to move now. Even with a rent increase, I would rather stay in my place. I also don't want to spend all the money I've been saving up. I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck, I want to change that aspect of my life.

I feel this weird, centered quality to my life. Weird in that ... I had said recently that I did not feel the guides that strongly lately, and I wondered why. I wondered what it meant, and of course, it meant that they would come back stronger. Which is what happened. In the past couple of nights, I have felt it really strongly, the guide presence.

As I sit here, I want to just close my eyes, and meditate. I can almost feel fear as this energy, that's on the surface of my aura. And I want to tap into this deeper energy, at my core. It's kind of neat.

I don't feel worried about my job or my apartment, I just want to work on doing what I want.