gross out

I'm at the coffeehouse today, I don't know why. I guess I feel kind of depressed. I slept too much again today. It seems to be a pattern with me. And now that I don't have netflix, I'm wanting it again, because I'm bored out of my skull with Wow.

I saw this really handsome blonde boy from the massage school with this beautiful, long hair ... and I thought, "How boring." I didn't even want to talk to him, he didn't interest me at all. I'm bored with massage, I don't even want to do it anymore. I don't think I will ever do massage again, except for the fact that I need the money.

I want to force myself to write though.

I had jury duty today, and I might get stuck on a trial. I really hope I don't, but ... I suppose there is a chance. I hope they take one look at me and decide they don't want me. But, it made me think about the world and what I want to do. I thought ot myself, I'm glad I didn't become a lawyer. I don't want to be a lawyer. And then I thought, "I wonder what it would be like to work at the courthouse?" I'm glad I didn't do that though.

It doesn't interest me. I really realize that what I really want to do with my life is write. I was even thinking of going to visit my nephew and niece this weekend, but now, I think I won't. I want all three days to myself to write. I guess I'm being selfish, but too bad.